Dramione pointers
by PigfartsPigfartsHereICome
Summary: 10 do's and dont's for those writing those wonderful Dramione's... Rated M just to be sure, seeing as I don't feel like being suspended today :P


**Dramione do's and don'ts. **

**Well, I've recently read a lot of really bad stories on Draco and Hermione. Like, really bad. So, I decided to do this :D Just some little things to keep in mind while writing those wonderful Draco/Hermione stories.**

**One:**

DO let them fall in love.

DON'T let them fall in love in the first paragraph or two.

It's unrealistic, and does not make for a good story.

**Two:**

DO have a little drama. It can get a little boring without it.

DON'T overdo it.

Really, people. Rape, abuse, torture, sex, pregnancy in the middle of a war, a father leaving his child and lover, _and_ a cheesy marriage proposal, all in one story? Not kidding, I actually read a fic with all of that, and then some. There was attempted suicide in there, too. It was bad.

**Three:**

DO make the story realistic.

DON'T make it… well, is there any other word to use than 'unrealistic?'

An example: Hermione coming back to school her seventh year with bellybutton and nipple piercings as well as a tanned blonde and Draco saying, 'Like, Goyle, ZOMG, Granger's hot now. I think I'll go shag her.' Also, don't make Hermione the town whore. She doesn't sleep around. I read a fic where she slept with Krum (not unreasonable) but then with Goyle a few times, a portrait of Regulus Black (how?) and was lusting after Draco. Oh, and then we found out later that she was married to Goyle. Needless to say, I stopped reading it somewhere in the middle.

**Four:**

DO use a tiiiiiny bit of OOC, just enough to have them fall in love.

Example: Draco gets over his prejudice.

DON'T have so much OOC that they aren't themselves.

Example: nice Draco for absolutely no reason, slutty Hermione for no reason, etc. I read one fanfiction where Hermione became a prostitute to support her sickly daughter – this wasn't as bad as most, but still not realistic. She was the brains of the Golden Trio, folks. She could probably get a job almost anywhere. But that's a different category.

**Five:**

DO let it be _real_ love.

DON'T have them be like 'hey, you're hot, I'm hot, let's be in love, get married, and have hot kids.'

Let them fall in love for real, please, if only to satisfy my teen girl needs for romance :)

**Six:**

DO have a _little _corn somewhere in there.

I have the feeling that if Draco were to fall in love for real, he would be rather romantic.

But please, DON'T make it into a soap opera!

Neither Draco nor Hermione would call anyone 'my love,' so don't have them calling each other as such. Just… ix-nay the over orny-cay.

**Seven:**

DO make an interesting plot line. Give it juice and spice, something we can bite into; not just some plot-less smut.

DON'T use the really over-used plots.

Examples: 'Draco as a Veela', or the 'Hermione living on the streets, Draco finds her and figures that she can be his way for redemption' plots. Be creative, but actually give them something to fall in love with. In the stories with Draco as a veela, he's unconditionally attracted to her and – for no reason at all – _needs_ her to be his mate. In the latter – it was a great idea the first hundred times, but once people started having her addicted to things like heroin…. Yeah, no. Hermione is not a druggie. Also, the 'Draco is destined to be the next Dark Lord,' or 'Draco as a vampire' plots are unrealistic and, personally – and you don't have to share the same opinion – I really, really dislike them. There's more creative stuff out there, folks.

**Eight:**

DO use a creative point of view.

DON'T use 1st person.

It's childish and incredibly easy. I realize that there are some good stories out there with 1st person, but I have yet to see a good Dramione in 1st person.

**Nine:**

DO address most major roadblocks. include something on the war to do with their sides.

DON'T completely cut the major roadblocks out of your story.

This includes the war, their opposing sides, friends, family, all of it. If at least most of these aren't resolved, there's no way to let them have a practical relationship – or even be able to be in the same room with each other.

**Ten:**

DO have some nice smut somewhere in there.

DON'T make it explicit, so that I can practically hear and smell it.

I may have never experienced it, but due to explicit fanfictions, I do know what goes on in the bedroom. I don't need you to spell it all out for me.

Don't use words like 'pussy,' 'lovebox,' 'sopping,' or 'cock.' Find more tame synonyms, because frankly, these words are rather disgusting and kills the fanfiction for me. Not just the scene, but the entire story.

**This is of course for the serious fictions, not crackfics or the ones that people make solely to get off on their fantasies.**

**To nottonyharrison AKA kim6: No, the story in #3 is NOT called 'Playing the Players,' nor is it a Hermione/Sirius. *shudders* I don't read childporn, or anything to do with an older person with a much younger one. The story I was talking about is called Babysitting Blues, and is very much a Draco/Hermione fiction. It was very amusing even if unrealistic, but as soon as we found out that Goyle and Hermione were married I stopped reading. Well, I guess that just goes to show what you know, right?**

**Also, I have now recieved more than one review saying that there is another list like this one out there, one even tried to insult me and say that I was ripping off the author, who he said was MusicalCatharsis. Sorry to burst your bubble, folks, but though I'm a bitch, I don't go around making stories/lists really close to others and calling them mine on purpose.**

**Now, I looked up this MusicalCatharsis, and sure enough, there was a list called Dramione Do's and Don'ts, with a few points very close to mine. No, this does not mean I'm taking this list down; but it does mean that I need to tell everyone to get over themselves; oooh, so two rather smart people came up with a list of things they don't like in fictions. Neither of them can stand 'sopping' or 'lovebox' (see? I'm not the only one who's both seen the word and thought it was gross), and they both want them to fall in love eventually but not too fast. **

**Get over it.**

**To MusicalCatharsis, should you run across this: I am very sorry, I did not mean to take your idea. I was just getting sick of the people trying to write serious stories, but doing it badly. I'm generally not too pleased when I take the time to read a story and it turns out that it's really bad and I just wasted a part of my life reading it.**

**And finally, if you are going to critisize me, do it in a signed review so that I can at least rip you down with my supreme logic. If you critisize me with an anonymous review, I will assume that you are a coward and laugh at you :)**


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